Cottonwood Lake and the Women We Met Along the Way
“I have a lot of proof that the world is conspiring to make me happy.”
― Matthew McConaughey, Greenlights
First: The women we met along the way …
The first was while filling up the van with gas at the gas station. The woman next to me asked if I liked my new black rhino wheels and Toyo AT tires. I said did and explained my reasons for choosing them and then we got to talking about the van etc. She shared she just moved to CO from FL to work and lives in CO six months of the year (in her “mini Winnie”) and that the day we were chatting was her 62nd birthday ! She simply exuded life and positivity. After chatting a bit we wished one another well and off we went.
After arriving at my campsite I was walking Ramsey to scope things out when we came upon a woman sitting by herself on her ATV. I asked if she’d be willing to take our photo by the lake & she happily agreed. This led to us conversing about the area and she filled me in on several really good details to know. Like nearby free disbursed camping. And the path around the lake and so on. She was just sitting there waiting on the rest of her party to join her and it was so fun to chat. She couldn’t get over that it’s just me and the Rams out here. :)
Last, at the campsite that evening a mom and her daughter rolled in around sunset and set up camp at the site across from me. So cute… the little girl looked to be around four or so. At one point the mom waves at me and then said she was sorry for the noise they were making. I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME ! …there’s no one else I’d rather have for camp neighbors ! A mom and her girl (later learned it was Kelly and Luna from Longmont) out camping and chatting and listening to her little girl giggle it was so good. She went on to apologize for speaking loudly but said it’s because she’s 50% deaf. I said again seriously you guys are not bothering me at all and if I had a little girl that’s exactly what I’d be doing with her as well— camping out under the stars !
Next -Where are we this time? Cottonwood lake campground up Cottonwood pass from BV. After seeing pictures of this lake on IG I just had to come up here and yes it’s just as glorious as expected... The lake is absolutely stunning.
The past two months since our last van trip have been an absolute whirlwind - we made our way back to CO from AZ in early May. I had a birthday :) then… I was off to Cabo for a trial lawyers college May 13-16; it was the first gathering of lawyers anywhere since Covid. Amazing experience.
Life forever changed when I landed back at DIA on May 16, I learned my dear friend Gwen had been hit and killed while riding her bike in a bike lane that morning. On a Sunday morning at 10am. This news absolutely rocked me and our entire community. I went straight into action that Monday getting her ghost bike done and installed at her crash site, organizing a ghost bike ceremony for the cycling community that next morning and getting involved with her husband Mike & her family to help make arrangements. News and media sources across the country picked up the story and the interviews and requests for comment were extensive. I was so glad they covered her story — she deserved it and it also helps elevate this issue for the public at large.
That week was a blur. Her viewing was Friday evening and memorial service Saturday. Writing my friend’s obituary is something I hope to never have to do again- AND- it was a gift for me to once again re examine how I’m spending my precious days. I’m all too acutely aware of how any bike ride could be my last. For Gwen it was her last - and I take solace in knowing she went out doing what she loved.
On the heels of that I was off to San Diego for a women’s trial lawyer conference June 4-6 - this one is special since i’ve been attending these the last four years (except 2020) and while it’s a group mostly of Nevada lawyers they’ve welcomed me into their family. This time I had the immense honor of closing out the seminar with a talk that was titled “finding your inner peace.” I was so lit up doing something I feel so passionate about and I truly hope we can save this noble profession by helping lawyers get and stay healthy. I talked a lot about trauma and how we aren’t trained nor prepared to manage the trauma we experience and adopt in our clients’ cases. No one teaches us about “secondary trauma” and how it’s tantamount to PTSD. And here we are as lawyers brushing it off as “just part of the job” and those emotions and trauma are living inside us until we address them. No wonder this work consumes so many people. Just over the weekend I learned another talented Colorado lawyer lost his life to suicide.
Anyways — I ran off to “numb out” on nature and altitude. There are a lot of pressing things weighing down on me right now. I saw this 2-3 day gap between them and with my van packed I hauled a** out to the mountains. I highly recommend it. Give yourself permission. Yes. In the middle of the week. Mid-week camping is where it’s at nowadays with campgrounds so full.
After settling in, our first night featured a nice long hike around the lake …complete with a semi stressful river crossing to get back to our campsite so we didn’t have to reverse the two miles back, as we were running out of daylight. I crossed in my shoes and socks to protect my feet and the current was strong enough I was really glad Rams had her puppy backpack on so that I could use her leash to tow her across. We made it and Rams got to cool off in the water so it was alllll good.
Dinner was a nice big salad with extra toppings for flavor and protein. Then I made a fire and read outside until it grew dark. No cell signal. The compulsion to keep reaching for my phone lasts a while, then slowly the phone is no longer near me. And then eventually I forget where it is …
I can’t get over how good it feels to me to be back out here. It had been too long- my last van trip was early April so… two months ago. I’d grown a bit rusty on the van stuff and already notice things I totally forgot to bring along. 🤦♀️ ahem Coffee bean grinder ! Sweat pants ! …definitely out of practice. Being out here with no cell signal is exactly what I wanted and needed. Adding in the area being close to the lake and not many humans and this is definite new fave spot.
On this trip i wish I’d brought my gravel bike and not just my road bike. I wasn’t thinking about the long gravel road up here from the paved road, to get to the lake — only thought about riding cottonwood pass on the new road bike when I packed up. Whoops. Lesson leaned: Always bring the gravel bike no matter what.
The next morning, we had our breakfast and coffee and then it was time to strike out for a reconnaissance run up the gravel road where woman number two had told me there was incredible dispersed camping. Before we left I chatted with the lady and her daughter Luna she so very kindly offered me the use of her kayak in the lake today. Is that not the most incredible thing? The kindness of strangers still continues to amaze me. Ramsey and I ran up the road to check out the dispersed camping sites and sure enough, there were many of them and they were incredible, many situated right on the river.
On our way back down we encountered a camper with two women in it. They stopped and rolled down the windows and chatted with Ramsey and I for a bit, asking me about the campsites up the road. I was happy to share the information I had just learned in observing the many spots along the road perfect for camping. So far that is five women (and a little girl named Luna) I have met on this van trip all of whom have added joy and happiness to my days.
When we got back from our run, Luna had a present for me- a drawing. And flowers. So cute.
I shared with her mom my intel from the recon run about the disbursed camping up the road and started to pack up. I bid them farewell and made my way to the spot I’d see on our run- right on the river, gorgeous trees around and the Grand sound of water flowing fast. Totally ideal.
I came out here to write this book that has been brewing in me for a couple years now. It’s around the concepts I feel lawyers can and should implement in life in order to thrive in this profession. It’s a combo of my own biography plus tricks and self help wrapped into one. I started it in late 2019 and then stalled out with a bad case of “who am I to write such a book .” But now after being asked repeatedly to write and speak on these topics and after what I’ve seen during the covid era and the fact that the book stuff keeps waking me up at night, I’ve decided to write it. No matter what. Even if no one reads it.
This venue is perfect for this. No cell signal of any kind. No distractions. No people. Just Rams and me and my laptop and the van and the healing sound of rushing water. It’s not lost on me now that bringing the road bike actually serves my goal as I can’t just go for a ride here. Walks and runs are my options - far more time efficient.
So far the system that’s working is to write as long as I can and then take stretch breaks or stand in the water or quick nap or snack and then get back to it. I’m proud to say just in these few days of being out here I’ve got all of chapter one downloaded from my brain and solid start on two.
There are no emails to check. No house to clean. No Instagram posts to create or comments to read. It’s just us out here. And it’s incredible beyond words. Oh also it’s a week day. How lucky am I for this to be reality ? Time both goes very slowly and also, flies by out here. The time writing absolutely flies. Hours fly by. The time sitting still or resting go slowly. The good kind of slow. Check out the time lapse video of the clouds —-> good, right?
And another thing that is serving me out here: no sugary snacks. No distractions in terms of food. Just healthy meals like Huel curry or oatmeal. Avocados. Bananas. Grapefruit. RX bars. Tomatoes. Seltzer! But Nothing to mindlessly snack on. That’s proving really helpful and important for writing.
The upcoming weekend will be perfect for catching up on emails and work. (Thank you Google for “schedule send” so they can go out Monday morning)— as no one ever said you had to work only on week days & play only on weekends.
I’ll close out with this- on my way home from San Diego last weekend I bought Matthew’s new book, Green Lights. I read it all the way through on the flight home- I devoured it, and I bet you will too. I highly recommend it. The quote up at the top of this blog is one of my faves. Here’s another:
“I think we are our own aspiration and we should interrogate and investigate ourselves, get to know ourselves as well as possible,” … “And in doing so, we will learn and we find out what our own greenlights are.”
